Do you remember the little engine that could? He was very motivational. He thought he could, tried hard, and accomplished his goal.
Sometimes I wish it was that easy to overcome adversity. Other times I’m glad we have adversity because it gives us reasons to rethink our process and try again, working smarter and harder.
Knowing the path is different from walking the path.
In my research on sport psychology and optimal performance, I’ve found many studies that show how to develop confidence, perform in emotionally challenging situations, and use failure to boost resilience. They are great theories, backed by solid research.
I could tell you all about these theories and how they apply to whatever struggle you’re experiencing. Some of them have been applicable to my life, but they all came alive when I climbed to the top of the telephone pole and prepared to walk across “the catwalk.”
As part of becoming a Challenge Course Facilitator, I have been climbing the rock wall and learning how to set up the activities. These things were slightly challenging, but I was almost certain I would be successful. The catwalk was a different story.
Because of a past experience of slipping and falling off of a log, I knew the catwalk would be a challenge. I’ve tried to work through my fear of walking across logs before. I have been successful with logs that were a couple inches off the ground, so I thought I was ready to try the same skill up high. I was wrong, very, very wrong.
Where does confidence come from? Why did the little engine think he could?
Is effort enough to achieve success? What if you try as hard as you can, but you just don’t succeed? If you show up and go through the motions, you probably won’t improve. If you set stretch goals, you might improve. If you set stretch goals, put forth focused effort, then still fail and learn from it, you will definitely experience progress.
I tried as hard as I could to walk across the catwalk. I used all of the psychologist strategies I could find at the time. I reminded myself that I was attached to a rope with two (somewhat) trustworthy people holding the other end. I focused on deep breathing. I reminded myself that I had walked across the low pole. I told myself that it was ok to fall.
None of that worked. My inner caveman yelled and pitched a fit. I tried to calm down and think rationally. The facilitator reminded me that it was just adrenaline making me think I needed to rush. He encouraged me to take baby steps away from the support pole. I did as much as I could, but there was a point where I could not make my feet move any farther.
So, is failure necessary? Yes.
If you aren’t failing then you aren’t setting big enough goals. How do you know how far you can go if you never push yourself to the extent of your capabilities?
You can’t earn confidence in your ability to do hard things if you never challenge yourself to do hard things. Telling yourself you can do it isn’t enough.
I told myself I could walk across the catwalk. I’m not sure if I actually believed it, but I tried that strategy. When the time came, I clearly didn’t have confidence in my ability to complete the activity.
Self-efficacy strategies can help increase confidence
When I talk to athletes, parents, and coaches, many of their concerns can be directly related to confidence.
Confidence is a general belief about your ability in a specific area. It can easily vary for different activities.
What are you confident that you can do? Are there areas where you would describe yourself as less confident?
Self-efficacy: I think I can
Self-efficacy is a specific belief about your ability to do something under specific conditions. For instance, I have a higher level of self-efficacy for walking across a pole on the ground than in the air. It doesn’t seem to make much logical sense, but most of our self-imposed limits are illogical.
After I calmed down, I thought about what I needed to do to be more successful next time. My thoughts went back to what I learned from the self-efficacy research.
Self-efficacy, your belief in your ability to complete a specific activity, is fairly easy to change. It takes awareness, reflection, and effort, but the results are worth the investment.
Self-efficacy is increased in four ways:
1. Mastery outcomes, Experience success: try more often, don’t move on until you’re successful, start with micro stretch goals (70-80% chance of success), focus on process instead of outcome, start every session on your program (do at least 20%)
2. Vicarious experiences of success: watch someone else be successful, people like you, even a video will help
3. Verbal persuasion or encouragement: from someone you trust, grounded in facts and logic, makes use of and builds on your existing skills and successes, positive self-talk
4. Control your body: change the way your body interprets threat, reframe negative physical sensations as positive, control your anxiety
These are some of the best ways to increase real confidence, the kind that doesn’t disappear as soon as something goes wrong.
After you accomplish a stretch goal and earn real confidence, then you are in a much better position to magnify and anchor that feeling in your mind and body.
It’s interesting to reflect on where we’ve been as we look forward to where we may be going. When I started this blog I thought I could write about topics that would help others overcome barriers and get out of their own way. I suppose that goal was achieved, but not for others, not in the ways I imagined.