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Passion & Purpose Thoughts on Change

Some Things Never Change

It’s interesting to reflect on where we’ve been as we look forward to where we may be going. When I started this blog I thought I could write about topics that would help others overcome barriers and get out of their own way. I suppose that goal was achieved, but not for others, not in the ways I imagined.

Writing in this public fashion allowed me to see the barriers and obstacles that still needed to be examined in my own life. Clearly, I still have some work to do.

I stopped writing during the summer because we were busy traveling. Then I didn’t write because I was busy with a new job. Now, as my first full-time semester winds down, I’ve been inspired to write again. This time I’m aware that the reflections are for me.

If you’ve seen any of my social media posts or had an IRL (in real life) conversation with me, then you know how much happier I am now than I was this time last year. One part of that change is that I am constantly engaging with people who are passionate about what they do.

College professors do not teach for the money! Many of them teach because they are in love with their subject. They would rather read and discuss research than just about anything else. Others are passionate about their responsibility for encouraging and educating our future leaders. I’m one of the lucky few whose research interests and passion for supporting the next generation are overlapping areas of inquiry.

As a new faculty member, I was assigned an official mentor. That turns out to be a great idea. I have also received support from many unofficial mentors at Gordon. These folks don’t need anything else for their tenure review portfolio. They could stop growing now and be set for the rest of their lives, but they don’t. I’ve written elsewhere about the support from several of these superheroes.

One of them, who I haven’t written much about, shared his personal blog with me this morning. I experienced a wide range of thoughts and emotions as I read through Alan Burstein’s experiences and reflections. I laughed. I cried. I also stopped to ponder the “new initiatives” in light of his reflections from 2011. I’m struck by the idea that “the more things change, the more they stay the same.”

Here is a quote that stopped my train of thought for a few minutes.

“I often remind the occasional irate student who grumbles I’m PAYING for this,that actually, she’s only paying for about half of this;the other half comes from the people of Georgia. They too are our investors, and their investment is best rewarded by our ensuring that students are not pandered to as customersbut instead both respected and valued as Georgia’s future while held accountable to a standard worthy of the people’s investment.

I stopped to ask myself a few questions. How do I show students that I respect them? How is this different from showing them that I value them? Am I truly holding my students accountable to a standard worthy of our investment? If not, what do I need to change? If so, what are the keystone values, processes, or activities that demonstrate these ideals?

I am learning to ask about and reflect on the larger history, the meta-history if you will, before talking about plans for the future. I probably should have learned that a long time ago. In any case, the practice of reflection seems to be the key to superior teaching that spans across the changes and initiatives of the decades.

Categories
Awareness & Perception

Work for the Cause, Not the Applause

Do you ever feel overworked, underpaid, or underappreciated? Most people have felt this way at one time or another. I have heard people describe it as swimming upstream, fighting a losing battle, chasing their tail, or running on fumes. These different ways of understanding our current reality can reveal a lot about our underlying values and current perspective.

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Our Perspective

If I were to ask you to think about an area of your life where you feel overworked or underappreciated, which area would it be? Would it be work, home, church, school, or friendships? Thinking about this area, what are your specific complaints?

Maybe you feel like you put in more effort than others. Maybe you believe that you are worth more than you currently receive. Maybe you think that people should recognize what you do and praise you for your contribution. These thoughts could be based on your assumptions about what others should be doing.

I can agree that it is difficult to keep putting forth your best effort when you don’t feel like others value your contribution. It would be nice if everyone put in the same amount of effort, received appropriate compensation for the value they contribute, and felt appreciated in all areas of life.

However, the truth is that we live in the real world. Things are not always going to be fair. Other people have their own perspectives and see the world through their own filters of assumptions, beliefs, and values.

Our Values

The more important factor here is that we can only control ourselves. Trying to convince people to change is typically a waste of time and energy. We have all heard the saying, “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.” Horses can be stubborn, but so can people.

So, how do we reconcile this situation? Like always, we focus on what we can change. If we step back from the situation, we can figure out our values in this specific area of life. Why are we doing what we are doing? Why do we keep going to work and putting forth our best effort? Why do we keep cleaning up the house, knowing it will be messy again tomorrow?

Is this something we really want to keep doing? Let’s be honest, sometimes we really are overworked and underappreciated. Maybe it’s time to step back and let someone else carry the load for a little while.

Align Our Values and Actions

Hopefully, we do these things for a reason that is bigger than applause or money. If we can see that our efforts are based on our values (not some external reward), then it becomes much easier to keep going. Knowing how to realign our values and shift our perspective can help us feel a little better about these situations.

I don’t know about you, but I do what I do because it aligns with my values. If my actions didn’t align with my values, I would consider finding something else to do with my time and energy.

However, there are times when I begin to feel overworked and underappreciated. When this happens, I remind myself of the reasons why I do what I do. For those who are interested, here are my beliefs, as I currently understand them.

  • I believe that it is important to give to others, based on what I have been given.
  • I believe that self-knowledge gives us greater flexibility.
  • I believe that awareness brings more opportunities for choice.
  • I believe that people make the best decisions they can make, based on their past experiences and future goals.
  • I believe that we are all more powerful than we realize.

 

 

Categories
Awareness & Perception Thoughts on Change

Dynamic Values: Figuring Out What You Want

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It’s pretty easy to set a goal. There are strategies for how to set the best kind of SMART goals. There are even techniques for monitoring your progress. The hard part seems to be staying on track after the initial excitement and motivation wear off.

Linking Values and Goals

Figuring out what you really want can help you keep moving in the right direction. In my opinion, the best way to set a goal is to ask yourself why you want that outcome in the first place. For example, I could say that my goal is to meditate daily for 10 minutes for the next 30 days. Here’s how the internal dialogue would go…

Well, why do I want that? I want to relieve stress.

And, what would that do for me? I would be happier and more peaceful.

Why do I want to be happier and more peaceful? I want to show up as the best version of myself.

And, what is important about being the best version of me? I want to offer my best to those around me.

So, there we have it. The true value behind my goal is a combination of authenticity and contribution. Thinking about these values, I can agree that these are two of my core values. It is very important to me to live in accordance with who I truly am and to give something positive to those around me.

Living Your Values

Knowing why I really want to meditate can encourage me to do it, even when I might not feel like I have time. Linking your core values to your goals is one of the keys to maintaining motivation toward achieving your goals. You could even try writing your goals in a way that includes your values. For instance, I could say, “I will meditate 10 minutes a day because I value authenticity and contribution.”

Acknowledging my core values could also give me some other ideas about small changes that I could make to more fully live in accordance with these values. In fact, these values are part of the reason that I decided to write a blog. There are plenty of other ways to live out these core values.

So far, I have found that the more I live in accordance with my values, the happier and more fulfilled I feel. This is one of the strategies I used when trying to work through my weight loss journey.

Finding Your Values

There are tons of values inventories available online. Most of them encourage you to identify your core values for life in general. In working with people, it seems that their values are different in each area of life. If you are interested in exploring your values, I suggest starting with one area of your life. To ease into this, you could start with the area that is working well.

If you are the happiest and most fulfilled in your home life, think about what is important to you about your home life. What do you value the most in that setting or those relationships? Ask the “why” questions a couple of times until you get down to something that feels like a core value, which usually lies deep below the surface of your first stated value.

You could also do this same process for an area that is not working well. For instance, maybe your personal growth has stalled or your health is suffering. Thinking about what is important to you in these areas could reveal that you are not living in alignment with your core values. It could also provide you with small changes you could make to improve these areas of your life.